apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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