Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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