My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize