why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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