I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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