Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
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so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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