...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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