apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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