pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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