Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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