So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
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I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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