Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
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there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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