I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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