Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize