They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize