hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Mom said you looked used
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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