The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
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I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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