I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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