i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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