Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize