what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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