your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize