I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
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The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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