Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize