It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What a dumb baby whore.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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