you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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