Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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