I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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