omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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