I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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