why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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