I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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