I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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