I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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