Porn is love you can see.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize