i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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