I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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