I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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