My nipple is on Facebook.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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