we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize