i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize