i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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