she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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