I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize