I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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