I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
please come you make the beer taste better
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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