I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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