shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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