That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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