Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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